my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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