it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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