I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
