I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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