If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
