why didn't you poke me back
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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