two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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