Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
