never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
