you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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