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I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
