im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
