If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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