Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
