i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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