Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
