Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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