When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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