life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
