Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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