apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
