If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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