I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
