She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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