I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
