I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
