singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
