Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this boner is exhausting
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
