i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
