I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
