Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I want a musical about memes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
