i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize