thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
