it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
