I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
