got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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