i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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