I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
