sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
