i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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