so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
