How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
