he shaved USA in his pubs
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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