i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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