Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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