Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I faked an abortion last night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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