I wanna passion pit in your ass
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
