Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
