I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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