So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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