You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Randomize
