she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
