I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
