hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
