no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
