People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I faked an abortion last night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I didn't notice because vodka
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
