That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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