i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
