You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
