I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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