I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love you.
Bad choice
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
