I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
