she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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