Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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