You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
