We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
