Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
