Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
