life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
