he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
